The Return of Par Par Lay & the Moustache Brothers

He’s back! Whenever someone gets arrested in Myanmar, there is no telling how long he or shee will be “in the klink,” as Lu Zaw of the Moustache Brothers is fond of saying. Fellow Moustache Brother and comedian extraordinare Par Par Lay found himself in the jailhouse again (this is arrest number three) back in late September. His crime: leading a group of “opposition party members” to give alms to monks in Mandalay. Of course, this happened during the height of the monk-led protests in Yangon and Mandalay, a particularly troubling time for everyone in the country. Over the past decade, Par Par Lay and the Moustache Brothers have been quite critical of the current military regime. In fact, telling off-color jokes about the generals, at an outdoor show in 1996, is what landed Par Par Lay in jail the first time. That cost him six years.

Par Par Lay was released from his latest incarceration on October 30, and the Moustache Brothers have resumed evening shows at their home on 39th Street in Mandalay. The government prohibits them from performing in front of local audiences, so they now hold shows specifically for tourists: “demonstrations” of traditional Burmese song and dance forms, spiced with plenty of humor (Lu Maw is the master of ceremonies---and master of nearly every clichéd slang phrase you can think of: “She let me off the hook!”) and a bit of subtle political commentary. An 8,000 kyat (about $6.50) donation per person is requested. They also sell a variety of colorful Moustache Brothers t-shirts (I now own three styles!) for 5,000 kyat each.

The show I saw this time was nearly identical to the one I attended last year, except that Lu Maw, the third “brother,” sat out for most of the performance. Besides the Brothers themselves, they recruit their wives and sisters-in-law to help spice up the shows with lively dancing and colorful costumes.

There were only four tourists in attendance at this show: me, a Canadian woman (who had also been on my boat to Mingun earlier in the day), and two Belgian women. Lu Maw repeatedly tells audiences: “Put our photo on your blog and website. When tourists support us, we stay alive.” Consider it done, my brother.

02:54 AM PST Permalink |

Maing Thauk Orphanage

Last week, while in Myanmar, I paid a visit to the Maing Thauk Orphanage, located near the eastern shore of Inle Lake. From Nyaungshwe, where I was staying, it was a one-hour bike ride; a trip that passed through a glorious rural tapestry of farmland, wooden houses, wooden monasteries, water buffaloes, and friendly locals. By the time I got the orphanage---the last half-mile required an uphill climb that forced me to jump off my back and push---I was starting to sweat, despite the cool temperatures (and at night it was damn cold!).

Director U Tet Tun was back in Ngaungshwe, but I was greeted by some of his assistants (along with a chorus of "Hello" from the nearly 50 boys) and distributed badminton sets and cane balls used to play chinlon (a game similar to takraw) I had brought with me. My friend Walter (another American living in Bangkok) arrived shortly afterwards on motorcycle (he wisely chose not to pedal all the way), bringing some treats of his own for the kids.

After I made my financial donation, I went back outside and took some photos of the boys. My mission next time will be to return with prints for each of them --- along with more sports equipment and books. The orphanages definitely need money so that they can feed and clothe the orphans, but little extras like badminton sets seem to really thrill these kids.

Maing Thauk can also be visited as part of your Inle Lake boat trip. Some days of the week there is a lively floating market near the shore. Just tell whoever arranges your boat trip (usually your hotel or guesthouse) that you want to visit the orphanage (they actually have two separate buildings now: one for boys and one for girls), and they can show you the way. From the lakeshore, it’s about a 20-30 minute walk to the orphanages.

08:43 PM PST Permalink |

People People

This is Thwe Thwe Aye, the delightful head nurse --- actually, the only nurse --- at the Mingun Home for the Aged. This facility houses elderly residents, aged seventy and older, who have no family to take care of them. Currently the home has more than sixty residents, the oldest one going strong at 96. Thwe Thwe is the sole nursing professional at the home, but a doctor from nearby Mandalay (a 40-60 minute boat trip up or down the Ayeyarwady River) visits once per week. Thwe Thwe Aye says her biggest need is more medicine for the residents, particularly hypertension meds such as Amlodipin. She depends upon donations from tourists to purchase the vast majority of the meds she needs for the elderly residents. Sending items through the postal service, however, is not a reliable option. I promised Thwe Thwe Aye I would bring some meds from her wish list the next time I visit (probably in April or May). If anyone wishes to donate medicine or money to the Mingun Home for the Aged (located across the dirt road from the Mingun Bell ---the world’s largest “uncracked” bell!), you are welcome to send them to my attention at Dasa Book Café in Bangkok.

This is Ethel. I never caught her last name. Believe it or not, she is a freelance tour guide in Yangon! A native of Yangon, Ethel has excellent English skills (her father was British). She is now in her early seventies. Most days you can find her on Mahabandoola Road, on the block just east of City Hall. Her favorite expression, popping up at least once every minute, is “blah blah blah.” I had planned on using her for a short tour of northern Yangon, but I couldn’t find her during my last day in town. On the day that I DID talk with her, Ethel proved to be a delightful and knowledgeable lady, possessing a playful wit. Even though I didn’t use her for any services that day, I gave her some money that she could use to buy food and medicine (she recently hurt her leg).

This is Thant Zin, more commonly known as Mr. Pancake. He runs an English Language and Computer Training Center in the small town (more of a big village) of Mingun. Chances are, you will meet him when getting off the tourist boat from Mingun. He will invite you to visit the school, and of course hope that you will donate money or sponsor a student (I picked up the tab for three kids’ tuition this time). Thanks to recent donations from a Thai tour group, he was able to buy new computer equipment for the school and purchase more books. He hopes to get Internet service in 2008. You can contact him at: thantzin1977@gmail.com

07:30 PM PST Permalink |

Fine Folks

There is plenty to see in Myanmar (or Burma, if you prefer); everything from glorious pagodas and teak monasteries (and the famous teak bridge in Amarapura), to mountains, rivers, and lakes, and a mind boggling variety of ethnic villages. There are many places I still want to explore in Myanmar (Kengtung, Mawlamyine, and Mrauk U, for starters), but inevitably I return to the same cities I’ve already visited, just to reconnect with people I’ve met on past trips. I dare anyone to visit this country and not come away with an emotional attachment to these fine folks. As recent events have revealed, not all is well in Myanmar, but the resilient populace continues to live their lives --- and welcome visitors --- with grace and good humor.

01:37 AM PST Permalink |

Back from the Road

I Returned on Friday morning from my latest Myanmar (Burma) trip. This one was only 11 days, but packed with adventure: most the “wild thrills” consisting of teashop visits, showing around a first-time visitor, buying badminton sets for orphanages, and bags of oranges for monasteries. More stories and photos to follow in the coming days.

Meanwhile, I became immediately annoyed upon arrival back in Bangkok. I don’t think I can accurately express my disgust at our “wonderful” new Suvarnabhumi Airport. This facility has been open for 15 months now, but it remains an embarrassment for Thailand. Poorly laid out, poor signage, poorly organized, and utterly aggravating when you have to wade through a sea of sharp-dressed taxi-touting cretins to get to the real taxi stand. During the walk from customs to the taxi stand I screamed at three different people who attempted to “help” me. How can the Airport Authority allow these freelance thugs into their facility? With practices like this, Thailand will continue to be regarded as a bumbling, third world country. But hey, at least the airport has more toilets now!

I was deeply saddened, and troubled, by Thursday’s assassination of Benazir Bhutto. I have only superficial knowledge of what sort of leader she had been, or what she represents to the people of Pakistan, but anytime such an eloquent and charismatic leader dies, it leaves an irreplaceable vacuum in that country. But in this case, I also fear there will be fallout through the region. Will this insane violence ever come to an end?

I experienced another “first” during my Myanmar trip. I asked my taxi driver to drop me off at the Morning Star teashop on the way to the Yangon airport on Sunday morning. I needed my bowl (actually, I ordered two!) of ohno kauk swe noodles to fortify me for the long morning ahead (never trusting the quality of airline food--- if they even serve anything). The taxi driver sat with me and had a cup of tea while he waited for me to finish. But before I had wolfed down my second bowl of noodles, the taxi driver paid the bill himself! I tried to hand him some money but he refused to take it. In the end, I just tipped him more for the taxi ride. But that a typical act of Burmese hospitality. These people deserve a big group hug! Go and visit now!

06:57 PM PST Permalink |

Fixing a Crack

I had to take my CD player in for repair this week. I’ve only had the thing for about four months but that didn’t stop one of the crucial parts from cracking. It’s always a hassle having to lug around a large electronics item in Bangkok. The Philips service center was down on Silom Road, so I debated whether to take the Skytrain, the Subway, or a taxi. In the end I compromised and took a taxi there and the Skytrain back to my store. Finding the exact place proved to be somewhat challenging. The woman on the phone said it was near the corner of Convent and Silom. No problem; I knew exactly where that was. But the service center wasn’t in the main building, it was tucked away on the first floor of the parking garage! Thanks to a helpful security guard I managed to find the place. Now, I’m stuck with a cheap backup CD player (mono, anyone?) until I get my regular one back.

Dennis from Australia, a regular customer over the years, popped in again this week. He’s been spending time in Bangkok, in between trips to Malaysia and Indonesis, before he heads back to Melbourne. This time he brought a friend from Indonesia who had never been to Bangkok before. Not only that, this was the first time the young lady had been out of Indonesia! I wish I could remember her name, but she was very personable and seemed delighted, if somewhat overwhelmed, to be here in the big, crazy city. She’s an artist, so Dennis made sure to take here to some of the local galleries. He also took her to Nana Plaza and stopped in a bar that specializes in transvestites. Not sure if that was what she expected to find in Bangkok, but she seemed fascinated by the experience.

We’ve had a lot of backpacker types in the store this month, looking at books but not buying anything. That’s no great surprise. Most young travelers are on a limited budget, not to mention limited bag space, so they aren’t going to buy a ton of books. A lot of them just come in to browse the guidebook sections, getting tips on what to do and where to go next. Despite so much information online, guidebooks remain popular. And that’s one reason we had to move them downstairs. When they were shelved upstairs---in an area we couldn’t always monitor---too many books got stolen. What can you do? I’ve got a few ideas, but I’d better not verbalize them!

03:16 AM PST Permalink |

Explain that Tune

In the midst of all the Thai election madness going on around us (election day will be held on December 23), a bunch of anti-politicians calling themselves the Artist Party have surfaced. They have certainly helped transform a predictable campaign into something more lively --- and funny. This week they put up an assortment of campaign signs around town, touting their own “candidates” --- even though they are not officially fielding anyone for office. My favorite of their signs is the one that pictures three guys, all dressed in business suits, and all holding their noses --- apparently bothered by some pervasive political stink still lingering in the air. Clearly, the Artist Party is relishing the opportunity to poke fun at the usual brand of drab campaign signs, as well as pointing out the ridiculousness of it all. I would love to see these guys really have some candidates running for office.

I never thought that I’d find myself owning any Linkin Park CDs, but thanks to my friend Somphot, I’ve become a fan --- at least of their newest album. Somphot, whose nickname is Ice (Is it a Thai law that everyone must have a silly nickname?), is a huge music fan, which is one reason we get along so well. I’ve discovered some good Thai music from listening to his advice, and I’ve reciprocated and turned him onto some of my favorite “international” music too. I went out and bought the new “Asian Edition” of Linkin Park’s Minutes to Midnight album, which includes some bonus songs, after hearing Ice’s “copy” recording. My version also comes with a booklet that has the song lyrics. So now, whenever Ice comes over he religiously pours over the lyric booklet, trying to understand what these guys are saying, or singing. Inevitably I’m the one who has to translate it for Ice, or explain what some of this stuff means --- and man is it that a tough assignment! With some of the more esoteric lyrics it becomes an exercise in futility. You certainly can’t take the meaning of everything they are singing literally, or it would be even more confusing. But doing this lyric transcription has helped my Thai language skills, dredging up words I haven’t used in years or making me hit the dictionary in search of the necessary definitions. But besides all that, I really like the songs on this album. Hey, it’s got a good beat and you can dance to it. Passionate, yet rocking. Nice vocals. But for most Thai music fans that stuffs not enough. They absolutely have to know what the song lyrics are all about.

Naturally, this rambling tale leads me to my latest Listening List. Here are the most played albums at my place this month:

Earth, Wind & Fire – The Essential
Raul Malo – After Hours
Razorlight – Razorlight
Annie Lennox – Songs of Mass Desctruction
Eagles – Long Road out of Eden
Patti Scialfa – Play it as it Lays
Robert Plant & Alison Krauss – Raising Sand
Shooter Jennings – Electric Rodeo
Linkin Park – Minutes to Midnight
Eurythmics – In the Garden
John Lee Hooker – The Best of Friends
The Who – Who’s Next (Deluxe Edition)
Ed Harcourt – Until Tomorrow Then: The Best of
Feist – The Reminder
Cheikh Lo – Lamp Fall
Grant Green – Sunday Mornin’
Doll By Doll – Doll By Doll
Elvis Presley – Elvis Country
Various Artists – Blue Bossa
Matthew Sweet – Time Capsule: The Best of 1990 -2000
Nick Lowe – At my Age
Money Mark – Brand New Tomorrow
The Beautiful South – Golddiggas, Headnodders & Pholk Songs
Duke Ellington – The Essential
Jimmy Eat World – Clarity

06:13 AM PST Permalink |

Tourist Season

From my perspective here at the bookshop there seems to be a lot of tourists in Bangkok this month. Our business the past two weeks has been much better than normal, and a lot of that I attribute to the influx of new tourists. Hey, keep it coming!

I was getting off the subway at the Silom station on Thursday night when I heard someone say, “Hey, Lazy Mango.” As the former proprietor of the Lazy Mango Bookshop in Siem Reap, I assumed that comment was directed at me. I looked around and saw a familiar face greet me, although I couldn’t remember the name right away. “Hey, aren’t you the guy who used to run Lazy Mango?” the fellow asked again. I acknowledged that I was indeed the dude in question. We chatted for a while and I remembered his name: Steve. He lived in Siem Reap for several months back in 2004, working as a DJ at the nearby Temple Bar. He would frequently come to my shop, not to buy books but CDs. At that time we carried a few hundred used discs and he always found something interesting in the mix. We had a nice chat and both agreed that getting out of Siem Reap was a mentally healthy thing to do. Steve promised to drop by my shop in Bangkok while he is in town. He’s here with his wife for a month-long visit.

In another Lazy Mango flashback, I got an e-mail this week from my friend So Peng Thai. He used to help me out at the bookshop part-time while also working as a moto driver and studying to be a tour guide (which he successfully accomplished: he is now a licensed Angkor guide). Anyway, he was writing to announce that he would be getting married in May next year! Big news indeed. I wrote back and I told me that I’d do my best to attend, even though I try to avoid going to weddings. Knowing how expensive Khmer weddings can be, I also offered to help him out if he needed any extra money for the ceremony. He sent me a sweet reply, declining the monetary offer, but hoping that I would come to the wedding:

“I just want to get you here to visit me. That's enough for me. I want to make my family happy and all of my friends happy the way I do. I want the next generation to see how hard that we have to work in our life if we want to get prosperity and a good life. After I get married I will do business and save to build a house too. You can come to stay when you come here. When I get time I will visit you in Thailand too.”

So Peng Thai is a good example of someone who worked hard to rise from an impoverished background and do well for himself. He taught himself English and moved from his village, near Kompong Kdei, to work in Siem Reap, believing this was the best place for him to get ahead. And he has. By local standards he has become very successful as a guide. And that’s no surprise to me: he is industrious, personable, generous (he paid for one of his sisters to go to school also), and a damn good singer too. He made a demo of a Khmer song last year and gave me a copy on CD. I wish I had a voice that good! As much as I hate weddings, I may have to attend this one.

Last month the Airports of Thailand (AOT) plugged the improve quality of the toilets at the new Suvarnabhumi International Airport in Bangkok in a continuing series of “columns” in the local newspaper. In a column/announcement this week they were defending the air conditioning system used at Suvarnabhumi. Once again, someone with a fairly poor grasp of the English language has written the copy. Here’s one passage:

“For problems concerning insufficient cool air at the early stage of operation of the airport, they mainly caused by the construction of shops and offices which was done after the system had already been fixed. In such doing, displacement diffusers were either moved or covered, and the radiant floor cooling system was also adjusted resulting less cool air become less in certain areas.”

Huh? After the in-depth analysis of toilet and air-conditioning functions at the airport I’m looking forward to whatever they’ll be dissecting in the next column!

07:01 PM PST Permalink |

Long Live the King!

Forget Songkran and Loy Krathong; the most amazing annual event in Thailand was held today: King’s Bhumipol’s birthday. Also known as Father’s Day here in Thailand, the King’s Birthday is not only a major holiday, but it’s an affirmation of the nation’s sincere love for their long reigning monarch.

Predictably, the streets and shops of the city were a sea of yellow on Wednesday, nearly everyone wearing yellow shirts in honor of the King. Traffic was light for most of the day, but towards evening the streets became clogged with vehicles making their way towards the celebrations behing held at Sanam Luang.

No matter how you feel about royalty, or the whole concept of the monarchy, seeing a populace so devoted to someone the King ---the man who is the heart and soul of the country---is an incredible thing to witness. I don’t think there is another country in the world where a ruler is so loved and admired. And justifiably so.

06:49 PM PST Permalink |

Violence and Votes

As much as I criticize America for its culture of violence and aggression, things aren’t exactly always peaceful and crime-free here in Thailand either. Take the tragic case of the Japanese tourist, a woman in her mid-20s, who was murdered in Sukhothai last week during the Loy Krathong festival. She was apparently cycling around the historical park the night of the big celebrations when someone cut her throat and robbed her. For the most part Thailand is a very safe country to visit, even for solo female tourists, but like most places in the world nowadays, it’s not as safe as it used to be.

Another violent note, it’s election time! Yes, the Thai national elections are now only three weeks away, so the campaigns are heating up, the campaign trucks are driving around blaring their propaganda (along with Isaan folk songs), and murders are increasing too. That’s right; you can’t have an election in Thailand without a bit of blood. Just yesterday a canvasser for one party was shot dead in Phattalung, and a candidate for an office in Prachuap Khiri Kan was stabbed to death---although the latter’s death is being called a simple robbery. Unfortunately, today’s Bangkok Post published the photo of one of the deceased men, and under his photo, next to his first name, it said: Found Naked. Why do they print stuff like that? Looks like the editor was asleep once again.

Speaking of those decibel-defying campaign trucks, the worst part is when they are driving down Sukhumvit Road and then come to a complete stop at the red light, right in front of my shop. This being Bangkok, it takes forever for the light to change, so we are subjected to the truck’s racket for what feels like an eternity.

Related to the Sukhothai murder, authorities have temporarily closed the park as part of their investigation. In today’s paper there was a photo of the sign that they posted, another indication that the locals aren’t learning English properly:
WAT SAPHAN HIN IS CLOSED FOR SECURITY MISSION
PLEASE DO NOT PASS AT ALL TIME
SORRY FOR UNCOMFORTABLE

I had a nice visit last week from Burmese writer Aung Thein Kyaw, commonly known as ATK. He’s a friend of my friend Ma Thanegi in Yangon. ATK was in Bangkok for a few days and stopped by my bookshop to pick up some Harry Potter books for his children. “I’m just happy that they like to read,” he said, lamenting the growing number of teenagers in Yangon who are addicted to computer games and karaoke. Besides writing his own books and magazine articles, ATK has done several book translations, one of which was a Burmese version of Alan Paton’s classic Cry, the Beloved Country.

07:38 PM PST Permalink |

Cool Weather and Hot Deals

Cool weather in Bangkok? Yes, the temperatures have definitely dipped this month. Taking a motorcycle taxi in the morning to the Skytrain station at Ekkamai the past couple of days, I’ve felt the need for a jacket; it’s been that chilly. I’m a cold weather wimp so I’m hoping it doesn’t get much colder. The change in temps is refreshing but I don’t like the idea of having to add extra layers of clothing.

I’m sad to report that I lost my basketball this week. It was a good companion and served me well over the past couple of years, and I’m devastated that it’s gone. During my Wednesday morning hoops session at the outdoor courts near Ekkamai, the ball bounced over the ridiculously low fence that borders the courts and kept bouncing … all the way into a reservoir next to Klong Saen Saeb. Rather than wade into the potentially toxic body of water, I watched helplessly as the ball floated away. Next week’s plan: buy a new ball.

The local branches of CD Warehouse will be closing at the end of December. For the past two weeks all of their stores in town are having a big sale, offering 50% off all new CDs and DVDs. Used CDs are also on sale, at prices as low as three for 100 baht. Only three branches remain in Bangkok: Emporium, Siam Discovery, and the Tesco Lotus center on Rama IV Road. They also have a branch in Pattaya. I went by all three branches this past week, loading up on a slew of discs. The good stuff got snatched up quickly but I managed to find a few goodies. I also made a second run later in the week, taking advantage of their special on used discs. I picked up some wonderful titles, things I never would have expected to find in Bangkok, by artists such as Jules Shear, NRBQ, Kid Creole and the Coconuts, Webb Wilder, Moon Martin, Duncan Dhu, Steve Goodman, and Richard Barone. I used to have most of those on vinyl, so I'm delighted to find the digital versions --- especially at such cheap prices.

I feel particularly sad about the closings, not just because I’m a big CD buyer, but because I used to work for this chain when it was an affiliate of Tower Records, from 1996-98. Some of my friends and ex-employees, in fact, still work for the chain. Karanrat, more commonly known as Jane, the manager of the Emporium branch, was my assistant manager at the Siam Center branch. She’s a jewel. Jane has worked for the local franchise holder since 1995. That was the year they opened the first branch of Tower Records in Bangkok, at Siam Center. I dropped by that store in November of 1995, when I was visiting Bangkok, and interviewed for a job. A week later, during the Loy Krathong festival, Siam Center burned down! I had been upcountry for the festival and when I returned to Bangkok I found Siam Center roped off by fire marshalls. What a mess. Nevertheless, Tower opened two more stores the next year, at the Mall Bangkapi and World Trade Center. I started managing the Bangkapi store in August that year and moved to the reopened Siam Center Store in early 1997. That year Tower also opened a store in Central Pinklao and at the newly constructed Emporium. Those were fun times and sometimes I miss that retail family comraderie. We “record store types” share an intense love of music that bonds us in a special way. I wish my Bangkok friends good luck in their next retail adventure.

08:35 PM PST Permalink |

Orphans and Immigration Officers

Over in the Kalaw hills, in Myanmar’s Shan State, Marjut Sieppi has her hands full with twin orphan girls. The twins, now three-years-old, came to Marjut’s care when they were only five days old, after their mother died giving birth. Relatives disappeared soon after the mother’s funeral and the father, unable to care for the girls by himself (he worked as a trishaw driver) left the girls in Marjut’s care. Thus far, with the help of an NGO called FinnConnect, and donations from many generous friends, Marjut has managed to raise Anna Jasmine (May May Than) and Sophia Florence (Min Min Than). But funds have slowed down to a trickle and Marjut is urgently looking for a godmother or godfather, or a supporting association to help cover the costs of raising the girls through early childhood and paying for their future education. For information please contact Marjut by e-mail: marjut.htay@mptmail.net.mm or by phone (+95-1) 644 533.
For more details about FinnConnect and their activities, please visit this site:
http://myanmartravel.net/finnconnect.htm

One of my friends, a doctor and anthropologist, is always travelling. Flights from Houston to Tokyo, Sydney to Mexico City, or Paris to Bangkok, are not uncommon. I got this note from him this morning:
“I have a constantly changing environment. Just yesterday I was arriving at the Miami International airport from Havana. Noting that the immigration officer had the name of Martinez, I broke out in Spanish. He looked at my passport and continued speaking in Spanish; “Where is Malacca?” he asked. My usual answer to the US Immigration officers who ask this is: “It is north of Australia,” since the mention of Malaysia usually triggers suspicion. They are drilled to believe that Malaysia is one of the 23 terrorist countries. But I told this officer the full details and then he laughed. “How did someone born in Malaysia but is an Australian, and lives in the USA (I have US residency) learn to speak Spanish?” The answer was: working in Cuba, which normally would arouse more suspicion, but this particular immigration officer seemed almost human and didn’t grill my friend any further.

02:49 AM PST Permalink |

Ho Ho Hell

The horror has begun. Yes, it’s that time of the year once again when local malls, shops, and restaurants deck the halls with an avalanche of gaudy Christmas decorations. Christmas trees in the lobby, strands of garland in the windows, inane holiday songs playing over the sound system. Just like those trucks that drive around town blaring election campaign propaganda, you can’t escape it. I had fervently hoped that when I left the shores of the USA back in 1996 that I had seen the last of irritating Christmas celebrations. But alas, the seasonal displays are alive and well --- just like dengue fever --- here in Thailand too. It’s not like there has been a sudden outbreak of Christianity to hit the kingdom. Thankfully, no such epidemic has taken place --- although I find there are more Christians living here than is necessary. But all this local Christmas nonsense is simply an indication of how much Thais like decorations and festive events. Ooh, how pretty! Ho Ho Ho, ka!

I dropped by a branch of Black Canyon for lunch on Tuesday and was annoyed so see they had put up a Christmas tree by their front door. I’ve also seen employees in malls wearing Santa Claus hats already. But the worst is yet to come. Every year the operators of the BTS Skytrain allow local Christian youth groups to board the trains and serenade passengers with Christmas carols on the two days prior to Christmas. Frankly, there should be a law against this. It’s bad enough when passengers are bombarded with high-volume advertisements on the Skytrain monitors (both inside the trains and in the stations), but to subject us with religious anthems is a form of mental cruelty.

Another annoyance at Black Canyon is their use of straws. Whenever you order an iced coffee your glass comes with two straws. Why? The only explanation I can think of is that they think the double-plastic looks attractive. Obviously one straw is more than enough, but two is overkill. But hey, that’s the Thai way. It’s hard to avoid the straw fetish no matter where you go. I have to plead with clerks at convenience stores and super markets NOT to give me more straws whenever I buy a canned or bottled drink of some sort. Even purchasing a jug of milk will earn you a straw. It’s beyond ridiculous. And don’t get me started on the overuse of plastic bags. I’ll save that rant for another day.

Thursday is Thanksgiving Day back in the states. This used to be my favorite holiday; a rare chance to get together with friends and/or family and share a good meal without having to worry about exchanging gifts. When I moved to Bangkok I would always get together with American friends and celebrate the holiday at a local hotel or restaurant that offered a turkey dinner of some sort, but finding a good quality Thanksgiving meal that is not outrageously expensive (care to spend over 2,000 baht for a meal? Not me!) has become almost impossible nowadays. So this year, like the past two years, I will have dinner with a friend in an Indian restaurant. And you know what? I don’t miss the turkey at all.

Yet another holiday to avoid, this one a Thai festival, is coming up on Saturday. Yes, it’s Loy Krathong time again. This is not an official holiday, but an annual event that is cherished by most of the Thai populace. In theory, this should be a lovely festival. Traditionally, people make krathongs from the sliced trunks of banana trees (so that they resemble tiny boats) and decorate them with flowers, candles, and incense sticks. Then, under the full moon at night, they float them on a nearby body of water (river, lake, canal, drainage ditch, or whatever is conveneient). But Loy Krathong is always marred by the idiots who think it is fun to set off firecrackers. That wouldn’t be so bad if they firecracker tossers refrained from throwing them at other people, but sadly that’s not the case. Personally, I don’t find it much fun to be the target of some brain damaged computer game addict that gets his kicks from playing with explosive devices. I’ll be staying safely inside again this year.

07:37 PM PST Permalink |

Color my World

What’s the color of the day? For Thai people this has become a definite dilemma. For most of the past two years you can see Thais --- and we’re talking an overwhelming majority of the populace --- sporting yellow shirts each Monday in honor of King Bhumipol. The King, you see, was born on a Monday, and in the traditional weekly color hierarchy, yellow belongs to Monday. But many Thais also wear yellow clothing throughout the week to show their love for the long-reigning (over 60 years) monarch.

But yellow, it seems, is longer the only appropriate color. When the King was released from hospital last week, after a stay of nearly three weeks, he was wearing a pink shirt. The next day there was a nationwide run on pink shirts. Later in the week, when the King went to visit his older sister in the hospital, he was seen wearing a green shirt. Naturally, vendors stocked up on green shirts as a result. I was joking with a friend, guessing what would happen if the King started wearing polka-dot or striped shirts. But he did me one better: just a few days ago, the King was pictured wearing a shirt with a checked pattern. But over that he wore a light blue jacket, thus causing a demand for blue shirts. Obviously the Thai public worship the King, but this constantly changing color stuff is getting mighty silly.

It seems like there are NGOs for every conceivable cause and concern. If there is a societal problem of some sort, even a perceived one, you can bet that there is an NGO to take up the fight. But sometimes there are problems that continue to be ignored, and I wonder: why isn’t someone doing something to help these poor people? Case in point: all those pitiful Thai women who are stumbling around in high heels. You can tell they are in pain, yet they persist in wobbling down the sidewalk, hoping they can make it to their next destination without falling. It’s especially heartbreaking to see them attempting to climb up and down stairs, cell phone in one hand, Emporium shopping bag in the other hand. What’s going to happen when they fall face-first onto the pavement? Why doesn’t someone start an NGO to help these downtrodden young lasses? Please please please, buy them proper footwear so that they can walk normally again.

07:19 PM PST Permalink |

Wake Up!

One of the big stories in the Thai newspapers the past two days was the tale of the security guard that beat several of his fellow guards to death because they were sleeping on duty. Call me sick, but I think this is a great story. The security guard arrested for the murders, Witaya Jaikhan, claims he tried to wake up each guard, but if they went back to sleep or scolded him he would become “enraged” and beat them severely, which sometimes resulted in fatal injuries. Witaya was obviously a practical fellow too, and before fleeing the scene he would help himself to the dead guard’s mobile phone and any money or candy he found.

Naturally, every drowsy security guard in town is re-evaluating his napping habits in the wake of this revelation. In an article in today’s Bangkok Post one guard was quoted as saying: “Sometimes we have to work a double shift, which means we have to stay awake for 24 hours or moe. This makes us fall asleep and not be alert enough to protect ourselves.” The article added: Security guards also said that taking a nap on duty was common practice and insisted the habit does not affect their work. Sanguan Chumchimplee, a security guard at a Klong Toey warehouse was quoted as saying: “We only take a nap, not a deep sleep. We will be up on our feet immediately if something happens.”

Oh yeah? Shouldn’t a security guard be alert enough to prevent something from happening in the first place? The idea of a guard waking up from a nap and suddenly springing to his feet all bright-eyed and watchful sounds more than a bit absurd. More than likely the guard emerge slowly from his slumber, rubbing his eyes, muttering the lyrics from a mor lam song, and then looking in a mirror to check his hair before he realizes what’s going on.

But this whole “Sleeping Guard Basher” story has given me ideas, horribly wonderful ideas. Perhaps I’ll post this guy’s bail, get him sprung from jail, and then send him on a new mission: board the Skytrain and go after all those people that obnoxiously shout on their cell phones. Anyone with annoying ring tones will also qualify. I don’t want them beaten to death, but a few hard taps on the skull would be nice!

I found this online poll, over at the always entertaining Tourism Authority of Thailand (TAT) website:
What do you enjoy most in Thailand?
Thai Way of Life
Thai History & Culture
Beaches & Water Sports
Trendy Style
Adventure & Eco-tourism
Health & Madical Service (that’s their misspelling, not mine!)
Festivals & Events

I know, the first thing most people will say is; “What, no choice for the nightlife and bar scene?” Or, to be more specific, “Thai Women.” That’s certainly one of the most enjoyable “attractions” for many men visiting the kingdom. A stroll around the streets of Bangkok or Pattaya will only confirm that fact.

I’m also surprised that Thai Food didn’t warrant an entry in the poll. That’s one of Thailand’s best assets and a perennial favorite of my visitors. And what is “Trendy Style” supposed to mean? Perhaps they mean shopping, which is another category that should have been listed. Once again, TAT appears to have no idea what they are doing.

10:44 PM PST Permalink |